Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection
Happy Monday!
Because of the half-marathon monopolizing all of my time and mental energy last week, I decided to stretch “Week Ten” of The Artist’s Way into two weeks.
Week Ten focused on recovering a sense of self-protection. It involved identifying potentially toxic patterns of thought. In the Artist’s Way text, Julia Cameron discussed how we each have our own vices (for example, substance use, workaholism, or obsessions with “painful love” or complicated relationships) which block our creative flow. One of the tasks for the week involved reflecting on our vices and how they impact us creatively. I found the exercise useful- I identified a few things I routinely find myself preoccupied with (dynamic, difficult relationships; food, exercise and body image) which tend to sap the resources (time, mental and creative energies) I could otherwise be channelling into my art.
The text also had sections dedicated to unpacking the perils of worrying about fame and being hyper-competitive towards other artists. In the case of the former, when we turn our focus from the creative process to achieving and maintaining fame, we invite “a continual feeling of lack”, because fame is a drug one can never get enough of. In the case of the latter, being hyper-competitive and focusing on the achievements of others shifts our focus away from ourselves and our own unique talents. We may stop creating original work if we start worrying that our art should more closely resemble others’. Cameron advises staying true to who we are and creating what we are drawn to create. As she says, “each of us is our own country, an interesting place to visit.” Personally, while I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly focused on becoming famous, I am quite susceptible to getting into a competitive mindset. A competitive attitude is helpful in the courtroom when I’m wearing my lawyer hat, but not so helpful in my creative life. I guess it just goes to show that competitiveness, like many traits, can be helpful or harmful, depending on the context.
Finally, Cameron acknowledged creative drought: the painful, inevitable fact that, “in any creative life, there [will be] dry seasons.” Her solution is to “stumble on”- to keep creating, to keep writing morning pages, because we must. Like all things, with time, creative droughts end.
Artist Date
Surprise, surprise- my artist date this week was another walk through a forest. I wasn’t originally planning for the walk to be my artist date, but once I was on it, I turned it into one. Generally when I go for walks, I tune out the world around me with my inner dialogue or by listening to audiobooks, podcasts or music. This time, I treated the walk as a sensory experience; making an effort to take in the sights, sounds and smells. I was overcome by the beauty of my surroundings, and the experience honestly made me feel like a child again. I waded through red and orange leaves scattered on the forest floor, felt the sun’s rays streaming through the trees and onto my face, smelled the earth. The experience was nothing short of magical.
Other Artistic Endeavours
Over the past two weeks, I painted another watercolour picture and baked carrot muffins. I am starting to develop instincts about ingredients and spices that I definitely didn’t have before. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten the hang of baking muffins at this point- over the course of The Artist’s Way, I think I’ve made at least 4 different kinds. Moving forward, I’d like to challenge myself to try out more difficult recipes. My partner has been suggesting pies…
I also started a new class at the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies: Writing Short Fiction. As you might recall, in Week Two of The Artist’s Way, I reflected on the fact that I struggle with writing longform fiction, and always get more satisfaction out of writing short stories and nonfiction pieces. Since then, I’ve been producing nonfiction content pretty regularly through these weekly blog posts. I’m hopeful that the class I’m taking at the SCS will allow me to learn more about short story writing as a genre, and give me an excuse to write more short stories. I’m excited to see where the class takes me.
Winter Anxiety
In completely unrelated news, something that’s been on my mind is how I’m going to cope with the coming winter season. I feel the weather already starting to shift- night falls early and the temperature is dropping… there was frost in the grass this morning. With these observations comes a sense of acute dread. I come by my apprehension of winter honestly- my mother would live in 30°C weather all year if she could. This said, I’m determined to avoid seasonal depression this year. I’ve been doing a lot of research online for anecdotal accounts from creators about how not to hate the winter season.
One of the perspectives I fell upon suggested treating winter as a call for rest: a time to give yourself permission to slow down, prioritize recovery and indulge in little luxuries you otherwise wouldn’t. As a productivity addict who struggles with having any downtime on her schedule, the idea of having a designated time of year for rest sounds both impractical and daunting- but also interesting. I’ve found this autumn season to be unusually busy and difficult to keep up with (between work, social obligations, The Artist’s Way, half-marathon training, and now a creative writing class). Perhaps prioritizing rest for the next few months wouldn’t be so bad.
With love- and until next week,
Laura Kate
Laura Katherine 