Tag: julia cameron

The Artist’s Way: Week Twelve Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Faith

As I’m drafting this, it’s Sunday morning. I’m watching the first snow of the season from my apartment window. I have to meet a friend for brunch in a little while, and I’m dreading braving the outdoors. I fear that no amount of layers, sweaters and socks will keep me warm. As much as I’m trying to be a little less gloomy about the winter this year, the colder weather is still going to take some getting used to. 

If you’ve been keeping track, this week was the last week of The Artist’s Way program. I’m so proud of myself for committing to it over the course of the last few months. As I’m sure you know by now, The Artist’s Way is a 12-week creative recovery program created by author Julia Cameron. In each week of the program, participants have to read a chapter in an accompanying text, go on an artist’s date, complete tasks and write daily morning pages.

Week twelve focused on recovering a sense of faith. The text opened with an invitation to acknowledge our deepest innermost dreams. Admitting our truest desires is the first step in forging a path towards them. This discussion forced me to think about my own conception of God. I admittedly go back and forth on the God question. I think the best way to describe myself right now is agnostic, even though I’m not the biggest fan of that word. But when it comes to the question of whether I believe in fate, I do have a sense that there is a “right” path for me in life, and I can either follow or resist it. I believe that there is some force in the universe keeping me on track and providing  intuition about what feels right and what feels wrong. Staying on the right path often feels easier than resisting. I think this way often when it comes to my career in law. I’ve made many little pivots over the years to try to find a place in the legal field that feels right for me. I started my career on Toronto Bay Street, then moved into private criminal defence work, and now work for a quasi-governmental agency. Each pivot has brought me closer to the path I feel is right for me. Each change has made life a little bit easier and opened up my world a little bit more. 

The Artist’s Way text went on to discuss the importance of trusting the creative process and embracing mystery. It then talked about living a creative life in general (“life is meant to be an artist date”). The chapter ended with a section re-affirming the importance of setting boundaries. There will always be matters that come up in our lives that threaten our commitments, goals and dreams. We must overcome them.

Artist Date and Other Artistic Endeavours

I don’t have much to say about the morning pages or tasks for this week. I did well with the morning pages: I had a few late entries, but didn’t miss a day. One notable task was repotting pinched and languishing plants- it was as if Julia Cameron knew about the pitiful state of the succulents in my apartment. 

I had a great artist date this week. I went to the West end of the city, got a butternut squash melt at my favourite sandwich shop, Vilda’s, then spent an hour at Pilot Coffee Roasters working on my short story, “Thanksgiving”. Interestingly, this was the only artist date I went on throughout the program which took place in a distinctly urban setting. The date brought me back to a younger version of myself, when I was a student who skipped class more often than not to subway downtown and explore the city. As I’ve gotten older and started working primarily in the downtown core, I’ve started taking Toronto for granted and resenting its loudness and busyness most of the time. This artist date made me appreciate the city for the first time in a while, and how lucky I am to live and work in such a vibrant, diverse place.

In terms of other artistic endeavours this week, I went to Arrowhead Provincial Park with my partner on Monday and took some pictures. It wasn’t easy- the weather didn’t cooperate. It was very cold and very rainy, and my camera lens was either foggy or damp the entire time.

I also finished “Thanksgiving” and submitted it to my short story class for an assignment (my professor gave me a “high pass” grade). I would share it here, but at the moment, I’m still a bit hesitant to share my fiction writing more publicly. Maybe one day! 

The Artist’s Way Overall Reflections

I think I might return to The Artist’s Way one day and reflect on the program more fulsomely with more distance from it. This being said, in case I don’t, I wanted to give some concluding thoughts about the program I’ve spent the last four months doing. 

In my opinion, you get out of the The Artist’s Way what you put into it. In order to get the full effect of the program, I think you need to comply with the rules to the best of your ability. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to try. Throughout the program, I went on twelve artist’s dates, performed at least three of the suggested tasks every week, and wrote morning pages 90% of the time. 

The weekly artist dates and daily morning pages were good non-negotiable exercises. The morning pages, even though I struggled with them at times, had a lot of obvious benefits. They forced me to confront my innermost thoughts and feelings and work through them- the good, the bad and the ugly. On the other hand, I loved the artist’s dates. Artist dates are meant to inspire you and give you space and permission to connect with your creative self. My artist dates included going to museums, taking walks in different places (often documenting them in photos) and going to different cafés to write. The dates also encouraged me to put my phone on airplane mode so I could notice and appreciate the world around me. I think, largely as a result of the artist dates, I got outside more and got to appreciate the autumn season to its fullest. 

The place where I see The Artist’s Way criticised the most heavily is the accompanying text. Possibly the most common critique I’ve seen about the program is that Cameron talks about God too much in the text. In my opinion, I agree that not everything in the text will resonate with every person that participates in the program. I think you have to pick and choose what parts of the text you take, and what parts you leave. Personally, about 60% of it connected with me, and the other 40% didn’t. I’m not fussed about this. I think most people will find that at least one aspect of the program resonates with them every week- if not in the text, then in the tasks, morning pages or artist date.

Overall, I really enjoyed my experience with The Artist’s Way and I’d recommend it to anyone who wanted to try it out.  Because of the program, I was able to get a clearer sense of who I am as an artist, start taking creative risks again, and let go of some fears around being a beginner. I started a website and have been blogging on a weekly basis. I’ve been learning how to paint with watercolours. I fixed my DSLR camera. I signed up for a writing class. I tried out a number of new recipes. I’m very happy with the results of the program and can even see myself revisiting it in the future. Moving forward, when I feel creatively blocked, I know I can always return to the tools of the program- the text, morning pages and artist dates- to get me unstuck. I’m optimistic that with the lessons I learned in the last twelve (really, thirteen) weeks, I can continue living a creative life moving forward. 

With love, 

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Eleven Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Autonomy

Happy November!

It’s currently very late on Saturday night (really- very early on Sunday morning) and I just witnessed the first World Series loss I’ve ever cared about. I started following baseball for the first time this year, and my home team (the Toronto Blue Jays) performed exceptionally well over the course of the season. Although I’m a little bitter about the Dodgers’ win, I’m happy to have followed something so monumental in Toronto’s sports history. The energy in the city has been electric over the past week- we were all united by the Blue Jays. 

Onward to the topic of this blog post, my reflections on week eleven of The Artist’s Way. This week focused on recovering a sense of autonomy. The text started with a long passage (almost a manifesto?) about accepting oneself as an artist. It felt like a summation of a lot of different concepts and ideas that have been explored throughout the program.

The text went on to discuss achieving success as an artist, and how to choose creative projects for pay. If you work as an artist for a living, you may be hired for projects that pay the bills, but that aren’t creatively fulfilling. Cameron talks about considering the hidden costs of accepting such projects- time and creative energy- and suggests balancing such projects with personal artistic endeavours that do fill your cup. 

There was also a long section in the text called “The Zen of Sports” which talked about the importance of physical activity to artists. This conversation resonated with me, and also brought to mind Haruki Murakami’s memoir, “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running” (which I love, and have read twice). Artists can benefit from physical activity in a variety of different ways. A lot of artists find that their minds wander freely when they exercise, bringing them inspiration. Others (including a friend I spoke to this week) find that exercising is a great time to puzzle through issues that come up in their projects. Personally, as a long-distance runner and walker, I find that walking frees up my mind for thinking things over, and running gives me perspective. Both activities have been extremely beneficial to my art.

Finally, the text invited readers to build an artist’s altar: a place to keep little things that make them happy. A so-called “altar” can be as big as an entire room or as small as a window ledge. As it turns out, I already sort of have one- it’s my bookshelf. My bookshelf houses my book collection, yes, but also little treasures I’ve collected throughout my life that bring me joy, including origami stars, cute blind box figurines, a set of glass fruits gifted to me by my grandmother, a jar of seaglass and ceramic seal statues that my mom gave me. My bookshelf is, without a doubt, my favourite part of my apartment. 

Morning Pages

I did poorly with the morning pages this week. There were two days I made late entries and two days I skipped the pages altogether. There has been so much resistance with these pages over the last few weeks. Honestly, I just don’t think they’re for me. To get back on track, I had to remind myself that I made a commitment to finishing The Artist’s Way program; and that the morning pages are an integral part of it. I also tried to give myself some perspective: at this point in the program, I only have one more week of pages left to go, and then I never have to write them again.

Tasks

Fitting as The Artist’s Way is coming to a close, a lot of the tasks for this week asked participants to consider their plans, goals and dreams for the future. Personally, I’m worried about not being able to keep the magic of The Artist’s Way alive once I get back to my everyday life. Concrete goals tend to work better for me than abstract ones, so I’ll need to find a way to set a practical goal for myself in relation to creating.1

Artist Date and Other Artistic Endeavours

This week was filled with a lot of late nights watching the World Series. This said, I did manage to get some writing done. I started drafting a new short story (no title yet, but it’s about a man found guilty of a crime who is awaiting his sentencing) and kept working on the short story I drafted in Week 7 (which has the working title “Thanksgiving”). I also made banana chocolate chip muffins again.

My artist date this week was a bit of a bust. It started with the best of intentions- I drove up to Newmarket with plans to walk through Fairy Lake Park and then go to a café and work a bit on “Thanksgiving”. Unfortunately, it was so cold outside I could barely enjoy the walk, and when I got to the café to write, let’s just say my laptop had other plans. If there was any positive takeaway from this week’s artist date, I’d say that at least I had a pretty good iced coffee and bagel with cream cheese at the café. If you’re ever in Newmarket, I highly recommend Metropolis Mercantile + Café. 

In any event- bad artist date aside- all I can do is move forward. Wish me luck for week twelve!

With love, 

Laura Kate

  1. I’m thinking about a goal of creating and sharing one work per week- whether that be a blog post, photoset, watercolour painting or something else. ↩︎

The Artist’s Way: Week Ten Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection

Happy Monday!

Because of the half-marathon monopolizing all of my time and mental energy last week, I decided to stretch “Week Ten” of The Artist’s Way into two weeks. 

Week Ten focused on recovering a sense of self-protection. It involved identifying potentially toxic patterns of thought. In the Artist’s Way text, Julia Cameron discussed how we each have our own vices (for example, substance use, workaholism, or obsessions with “painful love” or complicated relationships) which block our creative flow. One of the tasks for the week involved reflecting on our vices and how they impact us creatively.  I found the exercise useful- I identified a few things I routinely find myself preoccupied with (dynamic, difficult relationships; food, exercise and body image) which tend to sap the resources (time, mental and creative energies) I could otherwise be channelling into my art. 

The text also had sections dedicated to unpacking the perils of worrying about fame and being hyper-competitive towards other artists. In the case of the former, when we turn our focus from the creative process to achieving and maintaining fame, we invite “a continual feeling of lack”, because fame is a drug one can never get enough of. In the case of the latter, being hyper-competitive and focusing on the achievements of others shifts our focus away from ourselves and our own unique talents. We may stop creating original work if we start worrying that our art should more closely resemble others’. Cameron advises staying true to who we are and creating what we are drawn to create. As she says, “each of us is our own country, an interesting place to visit.” Personally, while I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly focused on becoming famous, I am quite susceptible to getting into a competitive mindset. A competitive attitude is helpful in the courtroom when I’m wearing my lawyer hat, but not so helpful in my creative life. I guess it just goes to show that competitiveness, like many traits, can be helpful or harmful, depending on the context.

Finally, Cameron acknowledged creative drought: the painful, inevitable fact that, “in any creative life, there [will be] dry seasons.” Her solution is to “stumble on”- to keep creating, to keep writing morning pages, because we must. Like all things, with time, creative droughts end. 

Artist Date

Surprise, surprise- my artist date this week was another walk through a forest. I wasn’t originally planning for the walk to be my artist date, but once I was on it, I turned it into one. Generally when I go for walks, I tune out the world around me with my inner dialogue or by listening to audiobooks, podcasts or music. This time, I treated the walk as a sensory experience; making an effort to take in the sights, sounds and smells. I was overcome by the beauty of my surroundings, and the experience honestly made me feel like a child again. I waded through red and orange leaves scattered on the forest floor, felt the sun’s rays streaming through the trees and onto my face, smelled the earth. The experience was nothing short of magical. 

Other Artistic Endeavours 

Over the past two weeks, I painted another watercolour picture and baked carrot muffins. I am starting to develop instincts about ingredients and spices that I definitely didn’t have before. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten the hang of baking muffins at this point- over the course of The Artist’s Way, I think I’ve made at least 4 different kinds. Moving forward, I’d like to challenge myself to try out more difficult recipes. My partner has been suggesting pies…

I also started a new class at the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies: Writing Short Fiction. As you might recall, in Week Two of The Artist’s Way, I reflected on the fact that I struggle with writing longform fiction, and always get more satisfaction out of writing short stories and nonfiction pieces. Since then, I’ve been producing nonfiction content pretty regularly through these weekly blog posts. I’m hopeful that the class I’m taking at the SCS will allow me to learn more about short story writing as a genre, and give me an excuse to write more short stories. I’m excited to see where the class takes me.

Winter Anxiety

In completely unrelated news, something that’s been on my mind is how I’m going to cope with the coming winter season. I feel the weather already starting to shift- night falls early and the temperature is dropping… there was frost in the grass this morning. With these observations comes a sense of acute dread. I come by my apprehension of winter honestly- my mother would live in 30°C weather all year if she could. This said, I’m determined to avoid seasonal depression this year. I’ve been doing a lot of research online for anecdotal accounts from creators about how not to hate the winter season. 

One of the perspectives I fell upon suggested treating winter as a call for rest: a time to give yourself permission to slow down, prioritize recovery and indulge in little luxuries you otherwise wouldn’t. As a productivity addict who struggles with having any downtime on her schedule, the idea of having a designated time of year for rest sounds both impractical and daunting- but also interesting. I’ve found this autumn season to be unusually busy and difficult to keep up with (between work, social obligations, The Artist’s Way, half-marathon training, and now a creative writing class). Perhaps prioritizing rest for the next few months wouldn’t be so bad.

With love- and until next week, 

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Nine Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Compassion

Happy Sunday and happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving long weekend! If you celebrate, I hope the food is delicious and the festivities are stress-free. This week was another busy one for me- I almost thought I wouldn’t be able to get to The Artist’s Way. But, against all odds, I was able to fit my reading, artist date, and tasks into the weekend.

This week of The Artist’s Way focused on recovering a sense of compassion. In the text, Julia Cameron talked about how, oftentimes, blocked artists unfairly call themselves “lazy” when they’re having issues creating. In reality, they might be struggling with fear: fear of success, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, etc. She warned about blocked artists falling into patterns of “creative U-turns”: self-sabotaging behaviours they employ when they start to achieve creative momentum. Cameron proposed that the cure for fear and self-sabotaging behaviours preventing artists from creating is self-compassion. 

There was also a section in the text where Cameon talked about how enthusiasm, rather than discipline, is the key to an artistic life. To this end, she suggested finding ways to treat creative work as play to foster a sense of joy.

Morning Pages

This week, Cameron invited participants to read through all of the morning pages they’d written over the first eight weeks of the program. This task took me about two days- there was a lot to get through.  I found that, predictably, most of my morning pages were made up of boring, repetitive drivel. This said, there were also some important insights in the pages-most of which I have written about already in previous reflection posts. Re-reading my morning pages also gave me ideas for “next steps’ in my artistic journey. 

Throughout the pages, something I said over and over again in many different ways was that I want to go back to school. This isn’t news to me- I’ve always viewed school (undergraduate studies and law school- NOT high school) as one of the best times in my life. I loved the independence and freedom and the focus on learning and self-development. It’s one of my biggest aspirations to go back to school for a Bachelor of Arts degree in English literature, art history or philosophy (a host of subjects I’ve always been interested in, but didn’t study while I was getting my BSc). While I still don’t think going back to university for a BA is in the cards for me (yet?), I’d like to take more courses through the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies, where I’ve taken a handful of classes already. 

Reading through my morning pages also made me appreciate just how far I’ve come with The Artist’s Way in general. In the first few weeks of writing morning pages, I verbalized doubts about whether the program would “work for me”. But, as the weeks went by, I undeniably gained creative momentum. Since starting The Artist’s Way, I’ve started a blog and post on it regularly, fixed my DSLR camera and brought it outside to take photos for the first time in years, tried out watercolour painting, drafted a short story, and baked a bunch of new recipes. 

All of this said, when it came down to actually writing my morning pages for this week, I really struggled. There were two days with late entries (where I wrote the pages on my lunch break as opposed to first thing in the morning) and one day where I genuinely forgot to do the pages altogether. As much as I’ve benefited from doing the morning pages, and how interesting it was to read them over, I’m really looking forward to being finished with writing them. 

Artist Date

For my artist date this week, I took myself to the McMichael Art Gallery in Kleinberg. According to the gallery, one third of the McMichael collection comes from First Nations, Metis and Inuit artists. A lot of the pieces that drew my attention were from Indigenous creators. Some notable works included Loon Family (1969) by Norval Morrisseau, Indian Residential School, Leaving the Shallow Graves and Going Home (2022) by Lawrence Paul Yuxweluptun, and Study for the Sparrow (2021) by Kent Monkman. The latter two pieces spoke to the tragedy of the Indian residential school system in Canada, and they were very powerful. 

I also saw a viewing of Kent Monkman’s short film, Group of Seven Inches (2005) which was actually filmed at the McMichael in 2004. The short film subverts the authority of the white gaze throughout history. It depicts Monkman’s alter-ego, Miss Chief Eagle Testickle, as an Indigenous, two-spirit artist and ethnographer observing and studying white men.

Another notable exhibition was “FISH” by Sandra Brewster. Brewster was born in Toronto, but her parents are from Guyana. Her subjects are dozens of species of fish native to the Essequibo River in Guyana. 

Other Artistic Pursuits

In terms of my artistic endeavours this week, I painted a few more watercolour pictures (but was unable to keep up the INKtober drawing-every-day momentum) and baked a new recipe that I plan to bring to my own family Thanksgiving dinner- banana chocolate chip muffins (even though nothing about this dessert particularly screams “Thanksgiving”).

All in all, despite a slow start, I thought this week went really well! I’m officially into the final quarter of The Artist’s Way, and I’m excited to see what the next three weeks bring. 

Until next week, 

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Eight Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Strength

I hope this post finds you well! Here in Toronto, the first week of October has been marked by the last vestiges of summer: despite the changing leaves and cool nights, the days have been sunny and hot. I’m currently writing this from my living room couch; a scented candle and electrolyte drink on the ottoman beside me. I’m trying to wind down (and not fall asleep) following a 15km run this morning.

This week, The Artist’s Way focused on recovering a sense of strength. A lot of the lessons in the text were geared towards professional artists or art students. Julia Cameron talked about how to survive criticism (in good or bad faith) from mentors, academics and audiences more generally. Because I have always considered myself a hobbyist artist and have rarely put my art out into the world for public consumption and critique, a lot of the chapter did not resonate with me. 

There were, however, a few parts of the text that I found interesting. In one section, Cameron pointed out that many people tend to tell themselves that they’re either “too old” or “too young” to make art. On the one hand, we might tell ourselves some variation of: “It’s too late for me to learn how to direct! If I go to film school now, I’ll be forty by the time I graduate!”. On the other hand, we might also say, “I’m too young to learn how to paint! I have to focus on my career- I can take art classes when I retire.” Cameron dismissed these thoughts as excuses we tell ourselves which keep us creatively blocked. As someone who is particularly susceptible to this way of thinking, I’ll try to keep an eye out for it in the future. 

Cameron also discussed pursuing our creative dreams one step at a time. She calls this “filling the form”, or, “taking the next small step instead of skipping ahead to a large one”. An aspiring writer, for example, may dream of publishing a novel. But before she worries about marketing a finished manuscript to an agent, she needs to focus on writing her first draft- one word at a time. This way of thinking prevents us from being daunted by big dreams and focuses our attention instead on smaller, more achievable goals. One of the exercises for this week involved making a concrete plan to achieve our creative goals: thinking about what we can do to work toward them in the next year, in the next month, in the next week, and today.

Artistic Endeavours

I completed my morning pages and tasks for the week, but don’t really have any notable insights or comments to share about them. This week, I focused less on The Artist’s Way program itself, and more on actually creating art. I baked again (though, two recipes I’ve already made before), and painted a handful of watercolour paintings for INKtober. 

INKtober is a month-long art challenge which takes place every October. The challenge invites artists to create and post (primarily on Instagram) art pieces every single day for the entire month. I’ve participated in INKtober a few times in the past- always using the “Peachtober” prompt list created by Sha’an d’Anthes of FurryLittle Peach (as opposed to the official INKtober prompt list). This year, given how busy I’ve been with half-marathon training and The Artist’s Way, I don’t realistically think I’ll be able to paint a picture a day for the entire month. This said, I’d like to get at least a few paintings done. I think it will be a great way to continue experimenting with watercolours and sharing my process online.

For my artist date this week, I spent a quiet afternoon at Mill Pond Park. I brought my journal and some pencil crayons, and ended up spending time walking, drawing and writing. Going outside and spending time in nature seems to be a recurring theme in my artist dates. Perhaps it makes sense that nature features so heavily in my drawings and photographs.  

With love- until next week,

Laura Kate