nature – Laura Katherine

The Artist’s Way: Week Twelve Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Faith

As I’m drafting this, it’s Sunday morning. I’m watching the first snow of the season from my apartment window. I have to meet a friend for brunch in a little while, and I’m dreading braving the outdoors. I fear that no amount of layers, sweaters and socks will keep me warm. As much as I’m trying to be a little less gloomy about the winter this year, the colder weather is still going to take some getting used to.

If you’ve been keeping track, this week was the last week of The Artist’s Way program. I’m so proud of myself for committing to it over the course of the last few months. As I’m sure you know by now, The Artist’s Way is a 12-week creative recovery program created by author Julia Cameron. In each week of the program, participants have to read a chapter in an accompanying text, go on an artist’s date, complete tasks and write daily morning pages.

Week twelve focused on recovering a sense of faith. The text opened with an invitation to acknowledge our deepest innermost dreams. Admitting our truest desires is the first step in forging a path towards them. This discussion forced me to think about my own conception of God. I admittedly go back and forth on the God question. I think the best way to describe myself right now is agnostic, even though I’m not the biggest fan of that word. But when it comes to the question of whether I believe in fate, I do have a sense that there is a “right” path for me in life, and I can either follow or resist it. I believe that there is some force in the universe keeping me on track and providing intuition about what feels right and what feels wrong. Staying on the right path often feels easier than resisting. I think this way often when it comes to my career in law. I’ve made many little pivots over the years to try to find a place in the legal field that feels right for me. I started my career on Toronto Bay Street, then moved into private criminal defence work, and now work for a quasi-governmental agency. Each pivot has brought me closer to the path I feel is right for me. Each change has made life a little bit easier and opened up my world a little bit more.

The Artist’s Way text went on to discuss the importance of trusting the creative process and embracing mystery. It then talked about living a creative life in general (“life is meant to be an artist date”). The chapter ended with a section re-affirming the importance of setting boundaries. There will always be matters that come up in our lives that threaten our commitments, goals and dreams. We must overcome them.

Artist Date and Other Artistic Endeavours

I don’t have much to say about the morning pages or tasks for this week. I did well with the morning pages: I had a few late entries, but didn’t miss a day. One notable task was repotting pinched and languishing plants- it was as if Julia Cameron knew about the pitiful state of the succulents in my apartment.

I had a great artist date this week. I went to the West end of the city, got a butternut squash melt at my favourite sandwich shop, Vilda’s, then spent an hour at Pilot Coffee Roasters working on my short story, “Thanksgiving”. Interestingly, this was the only artist date I went on throughout the program which took place in a distinctly urban setting. The date brought me back to a younger version of myself, when I was a student who skipped class more often than not to subway downtown and explore the city. As I’ve gotten older and started working primarily in the downtown core, I’ve started taking Toronto for granted and resenting its loudness and busyness most of the time. This artist date made me appreciate the city for the first time in a while, and how lucky I am to live and work in such a vibrant, diverse place.

In terms of other artistic endeavours this week, I went to Arrowhead Provincial Park with my partner on Monday and took some pictures. It wasn’t easy- the weather didn’t cooperate. It was very cold and very rainy, and my camera lens was either foggy or damp the entire time.

I also finished “Thanksgiving” and submitted it to my short story class for an assignment (my professor gave me a “high pass” grade). I would share it here, but at the moment, I’m still a bit hesitant to share my fiction writing more publicly. Maybe one day!

The Artist’s Way Overall Reflections

I think I might return to The Artist’s Way one day and reflect on the program more fulsomely with more distance from it. This being said, in case I don’t, I wanted to give some concluding thoughts about the program I’ve spent the last four months doing.

In my opinion, you get out of the The Artist’s Way what you put into it. In order to get the full effect of the program, I think you need to comply with the rules to the best of your ability. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to try. Throughout the program, I went on twelve artist’s dates, performed at least three of the suggested tasks every week, and wrote morning pages 90% of the time.

The weekly artist dates and daily morning pages were good non-negotiable exercises. The morning pages, even though I struggled with them at times, had a lot of obvious benefits. They forced me to confront my innermost thoughts and feelings and work through them- the good, the bad and the ugly. On the other hand, I loved the artist’s dates. Artist dates are meant to inspire you and give you space and permission to connect with your creative self. My artist dates included going to museums, taking walks in different places (often documenting them in photos) and going to different cafés to write. The dates also encouraged me to put my phone on airplane mode so I could notice and appreciate the world around me. I think, largely as a result of the artist dates, I got outside more and got to appreciate the autumn season to its fullest.

The place where I see The Artist’s Way criticised the most heavily is the accompanying text. Possibly the most common critique I’ve seen about the program is that Cameron talks about God too much in the text. In my opinion, I agree that not everything in the text will resonate with every person that participates in the program. I think you have to pick and choose what parts of the text you take, and what parts you leave. Personally, about 60% of it connected with me, and the other 40% didn’t. I’m not fussed about this. I think most people will find that at least one aspect of the program resonates with them every week- if not in the text, then in the tasks, morning pages or artist date.

Overall, I really enjoyed my experience with The Artist’s Way and I’d recommend it to anyone who wanted to try it out. Because of the program, I was able to get a clearer sense of who I am as an artist, start taking creative risks again, and let go of some fears around being a beginner. I started a website and have been blogging on a weekly basis. I’ve been learning how to paint with watercolours. I fixed my DSLR camera. I signed up for a writing class. I tried out a number of new recipes. I’m very happy with the results of the program and can even see myself revisiting it in the future. Moving forward, when I feel creatively blocked, I know I can always return to the tools of the program- the text, morning pages and artist dates- to get me unstuck. I’m optimistic that with the lessons I learned in the last twelve (really, thirteen) weeks, I can continue living a creative life moving forward.

With love,

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Ten Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection

Happy Monday!

Because of the half-marathon monopolizing all of my time and mental energy last week, I decided to stretch “Week Ten” of The Artist’s Way into two weeks.

Week Ten focused on recovering a sense of self-protection. It involved identifying potentially toxic patterns of thought. In the Artist’s Way text, Julia Cameron discussed how we each have our own vices (for example, substance use, workaholism, or obsessions with “painful love” or complicated relationships) which block our creative flow. One of the tasks for the week involved reflecting on our vices and how they impact us creatively. I found the exercise useful- I identified a few things I routinely find myself preoccupied with (dynamic, difficult relationships; food, exercise and body image) which tend to sap the resources (time, mental and creative energies) I could otherwise be channelling into my art.

The text also had sections dedicated to unpacking the perils of worrying about fame and being hyper-competitive towards other artists. In the case of the former, when we turn our focus from the creative process to achieving and maintaining fame, we invite “a continual feeling of lack”, because fame is a drug one can never get enough of. In the case of the latter, being hyper-competitive and focusing on the achievements of others shifts our focus away from ourselves and our own unique talents. We may stop creating original work if we start worrying that our art should more closely resemble others’. Cameron advises staying true to who we are and creating what we are drawn to create. As she says, “each of us is our own country, an interesting place to visit.” Personally, while I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly focused on becoming famous, I am quite susceptible to getting into a competitive mindset. A competitive attitude is helpful in the courtroom when I’m wearing my lawyer hat, but not so helpful in my creative life. I guess it just goes to show that competitiveness, like many traits, can be helpful or harmful, depending on the context.

Finally, Cameron acknowledged creative drought: the painful, inevitable fact that, “in any creative life, there [will be] dry seasons.” Her solution is to “stumble on”- to keep creating, to keep writing morning pages, because we must. Like all things, with time, creative droughts end.

Artist Date

Surprise, surprise- my artist date this week was another walk through a forest. I wasn’t originally planning for the walk to be my artist date, but once I was on it, I turned it into one. Generally when I go for walks, I tune out the world around me with my inner dialogue or by listening to audiobooks, podcasts or music. This time, I treated the walk as a sensory experience; making an effort to take in the sights, sounds and smells. I was overcome by the beauty of my surroundings, and the experience honestly made me feel like a child again. I waded through red and orange leaves scattered on the forest floor, felt the sun’s rays streaming through the trees and onto my face, smelled the earth. The experience was nothing short of magical.

Other Artistic Endeavours

Over the past two weeks, I painted another watercolour picture and baked carrot muffins. I am starting to develop instincts about ingredients and spices that I definitely didn’t have before. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten the hang of baking muffins at this point- over the course of The Artist’s Way, I think I’ve made at least 4 different kinds. Moving forward, I’d like to challenge myself to try out more difficult recipes. My partner has been suggesting pies…

I also started a new class at the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies: Writing Short Fiction. As you might recall, in Week Two of The Artist’s Way, I reflected on the fact that I struggle with writing longform fiction, and always get more satisfaction out of writing short stories and nonfiction pieces. Since then, I’ve been producing nonfiction content pretty regularly through these weekly blog posts. I’m hopeful that the class I’m taking at the SCS will allow me to learn more about short story writing as a genre, and give me an excuse to write more short stories. I’m excited to see where the class takes me.

Winter Anxiety

In completely unrelated news, something that’s been on my mind is how I’m going to cope with the coming winter season. I feel the weather already starting to shift- night falls early and the temperature is dropping… there was frost in the grass this morning. With these observations comes a sense of acute dread. I come by my apprehension of winter honestly- my mother would live in 30°C weather all year if she could. This said, I’m determined to avoid seasonal depression this year. I’ve been doing a lot of research online for anecdotal accounts from creators about how not to hate the winter season.

One of the perspectives I fell upon suggested treating winter as a call for rest: a time to give yourself permission to slow down, prioritize recovery and indulge in little luxuries you otherwise wouldn’t. As a productivity addict who struggles with having any downtime on her schedule, the idea of having a designated time of year for rest sounds both impractical and daunting- but also interesting. I’ve found this autumn season to be unusually busy and difficult to keep up with (between work, social obligations, The Artist’s Way, half-marathon training, and now a creative writing class). Perhaps prioritizing rest for the next few months wouldn’t be so bad.

With love- and until next week,

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Six Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Abundance

Happy last day of summer, and welcome to my new website! While I’d been enjoying using Substack to publish this blog, even after about a month and a half of use, I was still finding the platform difficult to navigate. WordPress seemed like a good alternative as I am relatively familiar with the platform- I kept a blog on WordPress for a number of years in my teens and early twenties. I’m still working out some kinks with WordPress, but I’m optimistic that I’ll feel at home again here soon.

On an unrelated note- is it just me, or is anyone else feeling strangely burned out? I’ve been plagued by a persistent sense of exhaustion since about the start of the month, and I haven’t been able to identify the culprit. The fatigue definitely spilled into my experience with The Artist’s Way this week- while I kept up with my morning pages and went on an artist date, I found very little time or energy to create, even though I wanted to. I’m a bit disappointed!

Lessons from the Text

The focus of The Artist’s Way this week was recovering a sense of abundance. Mainly, Julia Cameron asked participants to examine their relationships with money, because money can be a significant contributing factor to creative block.

Many of us carry the belief that being an artist is incompatible with financial stability. We may not see art as a “productive” hobby, and we may feel like we need to prioritize “practical” pursuits over artistic ones in our lives. Cameron writes: “most of us harbour a secret belief that work has to be work and not play, and that anything we really want to do – like write, act, dance- must be considered frivolous”. I certainly agree with this sentiment- as I’ve discussed before, for many years, I prioritized school and my career over art and creative living. Nowadays, I even see myself prioritizing more “productive” hobbies, such as exercise, over making art. This is something I’d like to change.

Financial stress can also cause artists to get in the habit of denying themselves luxuries (even small ones) in the pursuit of saving money. Cameron gave an interesting example in the text of a woman who loved raspberries but never let herself buy them because they were too expensive. Not all luxuries need to be expensive, or cost anything at all: time spent in creative solitude, for instance, can be a great luxury. Cameron argues that when we allow ourselves to accept small luxuries, we open ourselves up to a greater creative flow overall.

Finally, the text challenged participants to analyze their own thoughts and feelings about money. I reflected on my own influences when it comes to personal finance- from my parents, who were definitely savers, to the pessimistic zillenial sentiment that young people will never be able to afford things like houses no matter how much they save, so they may as well splurge on small luxuries. My personal philosophy about money is a blend of these influences- while I value saving money, I’m also not afraid to spend on “little treats” like takeout coffee a few times a week.

Tasks

The tasks this week were quite interesting. Participants were challenged to go outdoors and collect rocks, leaves or flowers and notice the natural abundance in nature.

Another task asked participants to track their expenses for the full week, assess where they spend their money and evaluate whether their spending habits reflect their values. For this task, I reviewed my spending habits starting from the beginning of September. I found that (apart from “necessary” expenses like rent, insurance and my phone bill) I had spent the most money on clothes. This was very surprising. For the last while, I’ve been wanting to buy myself better quality watercolour paints, but dismissed the purchase as “too expensive”. The financial audit made me wonder why I denied myself the small luxury of better quality paints when I easily just spent 4x the amount I would have spent on paints on a few jackets and a pair of pants. ¹

Artist Date

For my artist date this week, I took myself on a nature walk through the Black Creek Parklands. There, I completed one of the tasks for the week and collected leaves. There seems no better time than early autumn to complete this exercise when the leaves are all starting to change colour. Spending time outdoors always makes me appreciate all the natural (and free) beauty and abundance in the world.

I made sure to bring my camera along to take some photos, and kept my phone turned off to have a truly sensory, distraction-free experience. I paid attention to the chirping of birds, the changing colours of the trees, and the contrasting sensations of the cool, crisp morning air and the warmth of sunlight on my skin.

I realize that I’ve done similar artist dates for the past three weeks, so, next week, I’d like to challenge myself to change things up. I’m hoping to either visit a museum or experiment with a new artistic medium.

Until next week,

Laura Kate

P.S.- I just realized I’m exactly halfway through The Artist’s Way! I feel like the program has been so beneficial already in encouraging me to live a more creative life. Here’s hoping the next six weeks are just as illuminating.

Spoiler alert- after I drafted this blog post, I DID end up buying myself some better-quality watercolour paints. All in the name of embracing small luxuries, right? ↩︎