Laura Katherine

The Artist’s Way: Week Nine Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Compassion

Happy Sunday and happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving long weekend! If you celebrate, I hope the food is delicious and the festivities are stress-free. This week was another busy one for me- I almost thought I wouldn’t be able to get to The Artist’s Way. But, against all odds, I was able to fit my reading, artist date, and tasks into the weekend.

This week of The Artist’s Way focused on recovering a sense of compassion. In the text, Julia Cameron talked about how, oftentimes, blocked artists unfairly call themselves “lazy” when they’re having issues creating. In reality, they might be struggling with fear: fear of success, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, etc. She warned about blocked artists falling into patterns of “creative U-turns”: self-sabotaging behaviours they employ when they start to achieve creative momentum. Cameron proposed that the cure for fear and self-sabotaging behaviours preventing artists from creating is self-compassion.

There was also a section in the text where Cameon talked about how enthusiasm, rather than discipline, is the key to an artistic life. To this end, she suggested finding ways to treat creative work as play to foster a sense of joy.

Morning Pages

This week, Cameron invited participants to read through all of the morning pages they’d written over the first eight weeks of the program. This task took me about two days- there was a lot to get through. I found that, predictably, most of my morning pages were made up of boring, repetitive drivel. This said, there were also some important insights in the pages-most of which I have written about already in previous reflection posts. Re-reading my morning pages also gave me ideas for “next steps’ in my artistic journey.

Throughout the pages, something I said over and over again in many different ways was that I want to go back to school. This isn’t news to me- I’ve always viewed school (undergraduate studies and law school- NOT high school) as one of the best times in my life. I loved the independence and freedom and the focus on learning and self-development. It’s one of my biggest aspirations to go back to school for a Bachelor of Arts degree in English literature, art history or philosophy (a host of subjects I’ve always been interested in, but didn’t study while I was getting my BSc). While I still don’t think going back to university for a BA is in the cards for me (yet?), I’d like to take more courses through the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies, where I’ve taken a handful of classes already.

Reading through my morning pages also made me appreciate just how far I’ve come with The Artist’s Way in general. In the first few weeks of writing morning pages, I verbalized doubts about whether the program would “work for me”. But, as the weeks went by, I undeniably gained creative momentum. Since starting The Artist’s Way, I’ve started a blog and post on it regularly, fixed my DSLR camera and brought it outside to take photos for the first time in years, tried out watercolour painting, drafted a short story, and baked a bunch of new recipes.

All of this said, when it came down to actually writing my morning pages for this week, I really struggled. There were two days with late entries (where I wrote the pages on my lunch break as opposed to first thing in the morning) and one day where I genuinely forgot to do the pages altogether. As much as I’ve benefited from doing the morning pages, and how interesting it was to read them over, I’m really looking forward to being finished with writing them.

Artist Date

For my artist date this week, I took myself to the McMichael Art Gallery in Kleinberg. According to the gallery, one third of the McMichael collection comes from First Nations, Metis and Inuit artists. A lot of the pieces that drew my attention were from Indigenous creators. Some notable works included Loon Family (1969) by Norval Morrisseau, Indian Residential School, Leaving the Shallow Graves and Going Home (2022) by Lawrence Paul Yuxweluptun, and Study for the Sparrow (2021) by Kent Monkman. The latter two pieces spoke to the tragedy of the Indian residential school system in Canada, and they were very powerful.

I also saw a viewing of Kent Monkman’s short film, Group of Seven Inches (2005) which was actually filmed at the McMichael in 2004. The short film subverts the authority of the white gaze throughout history. It depicts Monkman’s alter-ego, Miss Chief Eagle Testickle, as an Indigenous, two-spirit artist and ethnographer observing and studying white men.

Another notable exhibition was “FISH” by Sandra Brewster. Brewster was born in Toronto, but her parents are from Guyana. Her subjects are dozens of species of fish native to the Essequibo River in Guyana.

Other Artistic Pursuits

In terms of my artistic endeavours this week, I painted a few more watercolour pictures (but was unable to keep up the INKtober drawing-every-day momentum) and baked a new recipe that I plan to bring to my own family Thanksgiving dinner- banana chocolate chip muffins (even though nothing about this dessert particularly screams “Thanksgiving”).

All in all, despite a slow start, I thought this week went really well! I’m officially into the final quarter of The Artist’s Way, and I’m excited to see what the next three weeks bring.

Until next week,

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Eight Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Strength

I hope this post finds you well! Here in Toronto, the first week of October has been marked by the last vestiges of summer: despite the changing leaves and cool nights, the days have been sunny and hot. I’m currently writing this from my living room couch; a scented candle and electrolyte drink on the ottoman beside me. I’m trying to wind down (and not fall asleep) following a 15km run this morning.

This week, The Artist’s Way focused on recovering a sense of strength. A lot of the lessons in the text were geared towards professional artists or art students. Julia Cameron talked about how to survive criticism (in good or bad faith) from mentors, academics and audiences more generally. Because I have always considered myself a hobbyist artist and have rarely put my art out into the world for public consumption and critique, a lot of the chapter did not resonate with me.

There were, however, a few parts of the text that I found interesting. In one section, Cameron pointed out that many people tend to tell themselves that they’re either “too old” or “too young” to make art. On the one hand, we might tell ourselves some variation of: “It’s too late for me to learn how to direct! If I go to film school now, I’ll be forty by the time I graduate!”. On the other hand, we might also say, “I’m too young to learn how to paint! I have to focus on my career- I can take art classes when I retire.” Cameron dismissed these thoughts as excuses we tell ourselves which keep us creatively blocked. As someone who is particularly susceptible to this way of thinking, I’ll try to keep an eye out for it in the future.

Cameron also discussed pursuing our creative dreams one step at a time. She calls this “filling the form”, or, “taking the next small step instead of skipping ahead to a large one”. An aspiring writer, for example, may dream of publishing a novel. But before she worries about marketing a finished manuscript to an agent, she needs to focus on writing her first draft- one word at a time. This way of thinking prevents us from being daunted by big dreams and focuses our attention instead on smaller, more achievable goals. One of the exercises for this week involved making a concrete plan to achieve our creative goals: thinking about what we can do to work toward them in the next year, in the next month, in the next week, and today.

Artistic Endeavours

I completed my morning pages and tasks for the week, but don’t really have any notable insights or comments to share about them. This week, I focused less on The Artist’s Way program itself, and more on actually creating art. I baked again (though, two recipes I’ve already made before), and painted a handful of watercolour paintings for INKtober.

INKtober is a month-long art challenge which takes place every October. The challenge invites artists to create and post (primarily on Instagram) art pieces every single day for the entire month. I’ve participated in INKtober a few times in the past- always using the “Peachtober” prompt list created by Sha’an d’Anthes of FurryLittle Peach (as opposed to the official INKtober prompt list). This year, given how busy I’ve been with half-marathon training and The Artist’s Way, I don’t realistically think I’ll be able to paint a picture a day for the entire month. This said, I’d like to get at least a few paintings done. I think it will be a great way to continue experimenting with watercolours and sharing my process online.

For my artist date this week, I spent a quiet afternoon at Mill Pond Park. I brought my journal and some pencil crayons, and ended up spending time walking, drawing and writing. Going outside and spending time in nature seems to be a recurring theme in my artist dates. Perhaps it makes sense that nature features so heavily in my drawings and photographs.

With love- until next week,

Laura Kate

The Artist’s Way: Week Seven Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Connection

Happy Sunday, and happy first weekend of autumn!

I’ve had yet another busy week¹, but feel like I did okay with my progress through The Artist’s Way. The theme of the program this week was recovering a sense of connection, which I understood to mean connection with our inner children, the universe, God, or whatever else we consider to be the sources of our creativity.

In the text, Julia Cameron began by discussing creating as a form of listening. She explained that creatives often feel as though in order to create, they need to “think up” great ideas. On the contrary, however, if they are connected with their creative sources, creating can become as easy as “getting down” ideas that come naturally. She mentioned Michelangelo remarking that sculpting David was merely a matter of “releasing” him from the marble block he found him in.

The idea that creating is a matter of listening is something that I’ve been engaging with since Week One. In Week One of The Artist’s Way, Cameron invited readers to experiment with using creative affirmations. The affirmation I chose at the time (and have stuck with ever since) was, “as I create and listen, I will be led.” I frequently write and re-write the affirmation in my morning pages. To me, it has been a promise that if I put less pressure on myself to make great things, and instead, just focus on putting pen to paper, creating will come more easily.

Cameron also talked about perfectionism and learning to take creative risks. Perfectionism is something I struggle with. It regularly impedes my writing process, and makes me avoid drawing certain subjects. This said, it’s important for creatives to keep in mind that, “anything worth doing might even be worth doing badly”. Throughout The Artist’s Way, I have been finding that I’m getting better at combating my perfectionism already. I’m regularly trying out new artistic media and I’m learning to be okay with being a beginner.

One idea that I found interesting in the text is the idea that no piece of art is ever truly “perfect” or even “finished”. There can always be improvements to be made- but, at some point, an artist needs to put down one project so they can move on to another. A writer can be tempted to edit a manuscript forever, but, sooner or later, they need to stop writing and try to have their piece published. Cameron quotes Paul Gardner: “a painting is never finished. It simply stops in interesting places”.

Finally, Cameron talked about jealousy, and how it can be used as a “map” to locate areas in our lives we are unhappy with and need to work on. She provided a personal example of jealousy in her creative life: she was jealous of female playwrights until she wrote her first play. The jealousy signalled an unrealized aspiration. Cameron challenged readers to think about the people in their own lives that they are jealous of, why they are jealous, and what changes they can make to quell the jealousy.

Tasks

I didn’t do very well with the tasks this week. Some of the tasks (collaging, for example, or writing out an inspirational phrase in calligraphy) didn’t resonate with me. Others I didn’t find time for. As I said, it was another busy week.

One of the suggested tasks invited participants to “listen to one side of an album, just for joy”. While I didn’t do exactly this, I did go to a concert- The B-52’s and Devo. I was mostly unfamiliar with the two groups performing: both seemed to hail from the new wave genre of the 1970s and 80s. I went to the concert with an open mind and ended up having a lot of fun, much to my surprise. Every song made me want to dance. I left with some new songs to add to my Spotify playlists and a desire to explore the wider discography of both groups.

Cameron also invited readers to “create one wonderful smell in [their houses]” and “buy [themselves]… one comforting, self-loving something”. I interpreted these tasks in a very consumerist way. I used the scent exercise as an excuse to go to Bath and Body Works, smell all of the fall-scented candles, and buy myself the one I liked best (Pumpkin Bonfire: “white pumpkin, a bundle of clove buds, glowing embers”). I then went to Uniqlo and purchased a wine-coloured cashmere Heattek long-sleeved shirt- a very comforting, self-soothing article of clothing.²

Artist Date

For my artist date, I went to a café, ordered a sandwich and a drink, pulled out my laptop, and drafted a short story. When I say short, I mean short- just under 1200 words. I’d had the idea for the story in my head for a while; it was just a matter of “getting it down”. It’s been months since I’ve tried my hand at fiction-writing, so this was a nice change.

Other Artistic Endeavours

This week, I painted 2 pictures using my new, better quality watercolour paints, and tried out a new recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. With respect to the watercolour paints, I noticed a quality difference right away between the new ones (Winsor & Newton Cotman paints- which are still not professional quality) and the ones I’d been using previously. The new paints are much easier to use.

I also re-activated my Instagram and created a public account for my art (@LauraaKatherinee). As you might remember, when I began The Artist’s Way, I started a blog because I had deleted most of my traditional social media. I have now been (mostly) off of traditional social media for almost 2 months. While the break has been great, I feel disconnected from the online art community. By starting a public Instagram account, I’m hoping to connect with other creatives on that platform. My plan is to deactivate my “personal” account again, but keep the public Instagram active and limit myself to a certain amount of time on the app per day. If I find myself falling into the same borderline addictive Instagram use as before, I will reassess whether I should stay on the platform.

I’ll talk to you next week!

Laura Kate

I ran my first half-marathon distance, which I’m sure I’ll be talking about at length in a future blog post ↩︎
In the Winter, I wear at least 1 Heattek article of clothing every day ↩︎

The Artist’s Way: Week Six Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Abundance

Happy last day of summer, and welcome to my new website! While I’d been enjoying using Substack to publish this blog, even after about a month and a half of use, I was still finding the platform difficult to navigate. WordPress seemed like a good alternative as I am relatively familiar with the platform- I kept a blog on WordPress for a number of years in my teens and early twenties. I’m still working out some kinks with WordPress, but I’m optimistic that I’ll feel at home again here soon.

On an unrelated note- is it just me, or is anyone else feeling strangely burned out? I’ve been plagued by a persistent sense of exhaustion since about the start of the month, and I haven’t been able to identify the culprit. The fatigue definitely spilled into my experience with The Artist’s Way this week- while I kept up with my morning pages and went on an artist date, I found very little time or energy to create, even though I wanted to. I’m a bit disappointed!

Lessons from the Text

The focus of The Artist’s Way this week was recovering a sense of abundance. Mainly, Julia Cameron asked participants to examine their relationships with money, because money can be a significant contributing factor to creative block.

Many of us carry the belief that being an artist is incompatible with financial stability. We may not see art as a “productive” hobby, and we may feel like we need to prioritize “practical” pursuits over artistic ones in our lives. Cameron writes: “most of us harbour a secret belief that work has to be work and not play, and that anything we really want to do – like write, act, dance- must be considered frivolous”. I certainly agree with this sentiment- as I’ve discussed before, for many years, I prioritized school and my career over art and creative living. Nowadays, I even see myself prioritizing more “productive” hobbies, such as exercise, over making art. This is something I’d like to change.

Financial stress can also cause artists to get in the habit of denying themselves luxuries (even small ones) in the pursuit of saving money. Cameron gave an interesting example in the text of a woman who loved raspberries but never let herself buy them because they were too expensive. Not all luxuries need to be expensive, or cost anything at all: time spent in creative solitude, for instance, can be a great luxury. Cameron argues that when we allow ourselves to accept small luxuries, we open ourselves up to a greater creative flow overall.

Finally, the text challenged participants to analyze their own thoughts and feelings about money. I reflected on my own influences when it comes to personal finance- from my parents, who were definitely savers, to the pessimistic zillenial sentiment that young people will never be able to afford things like houses no matter how much they save, so they may as well splurge on small luxuries. My personal philosophy about money is a blend of these influences- while I value saving money, I’m also not afraid to spend on “little treats” like takeout coffee a few times a week.

Tasks

The tasks this week were quite interesting. Participants were challenged to go outdoors and collect rocks, leaves or flowers and notice the natural abundance in nature.

Another task asked participants to track their expenses for the full week, assess where they spend their money and evaluate whether their spending habits reflect their values. For this task, I reviewed my spending habits starting from the beginning of September. I found that (apart from “necessary” expenses like rent, insurance and my phone bill) I had spent the most money on clothes. This was very surprising. For the last while, I’ve been wanting to buy myself better quality watercolour paints, but dismissed the purchase as “too expensive”. The financial audit made me wonder why I denied myself the small luxury of better quality paints when I easily just spent 4x the amount I would have spent on paints on a few jackets and a pair of pants. ¹

Artist Date

For my artist date this week, I took myself on a nature walk through the Black Creek Parklands. There, I completed one of the tasks for the week and collected leaves. There seems no better time than early autumn to complete this exercise when the leaves are all starting to change colour. Spending time outdoors always makes me appreciate all the natural (and free) beauty and abundance in the world.

I made sure to bring my camera along to take some photos, and kept my phone turned off to have a truly sensory, distraction-free experience. I paid attention to the chirping of birds, the changing colours of the trees, and the contrasting sensations of the cool, crisp morning air and the warmth of sunlight on my skin.

I realize that I’ve done similar artist dates for the past three weeks, so, next week, I’d like to challenge myself to change things up. I’m hoping to either visit a museum or experiment with a new artistic medium.

Until next week,

Laura Kate

P.S.- I just realized I’m exactly halfway through The Artist’s Way! I feel like the program has been so beneficial already in encouraging me to live a more creative life. Here’s hoping the next six weeks are just as illuminating.

Spoiler alert- after I drafted this blog post, I DID end up buying myself some better-quality watercolour paints. All in the name of embracing small luxuries, right? ↩︎

The Artist’s Way: Week Five Reflections

Recovering a Sense of Possibility

Happy Sunday!

As I’m sure you know by now if you’ve been keeping up with my posts, I’m currently participating in Julia Cameron’s 12-week creative recovery program, The Artist’s Way. Each week, the program has participants read a chapter in an accompanying text, complete some tasks, write daily “morning pages” and go on an artist date.

The theme for this week was recovering a sense of possibility. In the text, Julia Cameron talked a lot about artificial limits and ceilings that we impose on ourselves. In reality, regardless of what we might think, our creative possibilities are infinite.

Cameron also discussed the importance of creative solitude: time alone for artists to create and recharge. Despite the importance of this time, many artists get stuck in what Cameron calls the “virtue trap” where they give away all the time they would otherwise spend alone to others. Cameron argued that giving away our time for solitude is detrimental to our creative selves and ultimately self-destructive. “Afraid to appear selfish, we lose [ourselves]”.

From personal experience, I know that Cameron is right about this. For many years, I prioritized school, my career and productivity more generally over artistic pursuits. For years, I stopped creating altogether, and I paid the price. As a result of failing to take any time for creative living, I found myself unfulfilled and in a state of paralysis when I tried to start creating again.

Tasks

Most of the tasks for this week involved collecting images for an “visual image file”:

“List five desires. For the next week, be alert for images of these desires. When you spot them, clip them, buy them, photograph them, draw them, collect them somehow. With these images, begin a file of dreams that speak to you. Add to it continually for the duration of the course.”

I took this to mean making a moodboard. To get started, I temporarily reactivated my Pinterest account, found some photos that aligned with my desires and fantasies, printed them out, and began assembling them into a collage. Throughout the rest of this program, I’ll do my best to add other inspiring images I encounter.

Morning Pages

I felt very annoyed and resentful with the morning pages this week, and, in fact, had my first “slip-up” with them. I did not complete the morning pages on Thursday. While I definitely understand the value of the exercise (morning pages force me to create something every single day, even when I don’t want to, and without worrying about the quality of what I’m creating; they also allow me to work through my thoughts and feelings), having to spend half an hour writing them every morning feels tedious. I think I would appreciate them more if I didn’t already regularly journal or have a regular morning routine.

Artist Date

On Friday night, I took myself and my Nikon D3100 to the Toronto Beaches to watch the sunset. The beach is, famously, my favourite place in Toronto (I ended up there again on Saturday morning for a run). I walked along the coast collecting seaglass, watched the sky turn from blue to pastel pink and purple, and listened to the waves crashing against the shoreline. This was a very sensory experience- I did my best to take notice of all the sensations I was experiencing: the sights, the sounds, the smells. I also, of course, took the opportunity to photograph the scene.

Other Artistic Endeavours

This week, I found myself drawn to the kitchen again. I made 2 new recipes- cornbread muffins and energy bites. It’s completely unexpected to me that I’m gravitating toward cooking and baking- at one point in my life, I was the type of person that would get takeout 2-3 times per day. I credit The Artist’s Way (and my partner, a takeout hater) with my recent enthusiasm for cooking. Even though it isn’t exactly a “fine” art, I still consider cooking and baking to be an art, or at least, art-adjacent.

I also decided to take the leap and create my own website on WordPress to host this blog moving forward instead of Substack. I’m currently in the process of transferring my content between platforms. I’ve been using Substack for over a month, and while the experience has been good, I’m still not completely happy with the platform. I’m still finding it confusing and difficult to use, and I wish it had more customization options. While I still plan to use Substack in some way moving forward, I thought that making my own website was my next logical step.

I’ll definitely keep you posted when the website goes live.

Anyway- until next week,

Laura Kate